I've been at (insert real name here) long enough to have a nice little following of regulars. I enjoy serving familiar faces that come in from time to time, especially the ones that tip well. I like to think that it's because I've got charisma which is, if I may quote Pauly Shore in the great film Son in Law, "a special quality of leadership that captures the popular imagination and inspires allegiance and devotion."
Being charismatic has it's downside though. I seem to have made a good impression on an older gentleman who now shows up to (insert real name here) everyday to see if I'm working. At first it was harmless, just a lonely old fella who was looking for someone to talk to. Now it's gotten to the point I feel ill when I answer the phone at work and he's on the other end telling me "not to worry" and that he'll "be there soon."
Generally he talks about London, England and I nod and smile because I have nothing to add to the conversation. He'll sit at one of my tables for hours and he smells like French Onion soup before he even orders French Onion Soup. Worst of all, he only ever tips me a dollar.
Am I afraid for my safety? Not really. I'm sure if I found myself in a situation where I had to fight for my life I could take him out because he's old and because I've been conditioned to escape from life threatening situations courtesy of Big Bro.
One summer Big Bro tied my legs and arms to a lawn chair and locked me in the shed. So if creep show stalker somehow manages to capture me in order to make my skin into a lamp, I'll be prepared:
I have to give credit to the people I work with, however, when he phones they say I'm not in and if he comes in unannounced the hostesses tell him my section is full and try to get rid of him. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but they've got my back an I truly appreciate it.
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