Day ninety six: take my little hand

My right arm is freakishly stronger than my left arm and it’s all from serving for the last 10 months. I for sure have not even been rocking the bicep curls.


I am in no way ambidextrous so I used my predominant (right) arm for everything.

Even when I take out the garbage I throw the bags out with my right arm. I tried to switch it up and use my left arm a few times but each attempt had ended up in a tornado of food, used straws and garbage juice.

Go figure when I tell people about my rock-hard-right-bicep the immediate response is a crude masturbation joke:


                          "Hey (insert my real name here) been…"


I can’t even finish this sentence because my mom reads my blog and she already hates swearing. I can only imagine how she feels about smut talk but I will tell you it involves scraping the cheese off of a certain taco.


I digress.


I get pretty impressed when I carry a lot of plates or a bunch of glasses without a tray -- even more so, when I don’t spill anything. Have I dropped a plate of food? Totally. Have I ever made it rain on a table of old ladies? Yes, literally I have. I once spilled an entire tray of water on a group of grandmas. I felt awful. AWFUL. Good thing it was water and not glasses of something that stains, like mustard. Mustard is super hard to get out but the chance of getting something spilled on you is the chance you take when you dine out if your server isn't using his or her strong arm.