Day one hundred and eight: dietary needs.

I get easily annoyed when tables ask me questions that can be easily answered if the person just took a moment to read the menu.

Today, at (insert real name here), two women at two different tables asked me if there were any desserts not on the dessert menu. 

My response to them both was: 

“If you’re asking me if we have secret desserts then I’m afraid my answer is: no, no we don’t have any secret desserts not listed in the dessert menu. Now, if you’re asking me if we have other desserts that aren’t a secret but not listed on the dessert menu then my answer is also, no.”

One woman was just unhappy with the selection while the other was looking for a lactose free option. 

We just started making gluten-free options on our menu. Can we tackle one dietary need at a time?

I’m sorry you’re lactose intolerant and that has put an impediment on enjoying the finer things in life. It truly is a bummer because cheese is delicious. At some point in your life, you might be so lucky as to have a lactose free option when it comes to a tasty treat at the end of your meal but for now, surrender the fantasy. And while you’re at it, stop wasting my time.


Maybe I'm bitter because I'm not the type of gal who orders dessert when I go out to eat. I don't really see the point when there are so many more options of delicious things to mow down on, why waste the room on apple crisp?