Day sixty three: are you for real?

Tonight a gal came into (insert real name here) and asked for a table for two. She sat at the booth in my section anxiously looking around for, I assume, the other person waiting to join her. Immediately I figured: internet first date. I was wrong.


I went over and asked her if she wanted something to drink, she looked at me with a facial expression that could only say "shit is about to go down." She ordered a glass of red wine and I brought it out to her. A couple minutes later her dinner companion arrived. I walked over to ask gal #2 if I could bring her out a drink while the two looked out the menu only to be greeted with streaming tears. Awkward. I could only make out a bit of the conversation but it went something like this:


Gal #2: Are you really doing this at (insert real name here).


Gal #1: weird silence face


Me: I'll give you two a minute to look at the menu.


The ladies were breaking up at (insert real name here).




Now, I'm not the most tactful person when it comes to a break up but I know you don't do at a (insert real name here). You don't do it at any restaurant for that matter. 


I once had a boyfriend write me a letter about our relationship that still to this day makes me cringe when I read it. (It's pure gold so clearly I kept it.) He even ended it with a poem:

My love is strong but I can't show it

My heart is full but no one knows it

My life's affected by all you do

My pain and love are oh so true

It's plain and simple...

I need you!

Naturally I stopped talking to him and played the avoidance game until he got the hint. That was six years ago and I haven't seen or talked to him since. At least I didn't break up with him at an (insert real name here). Technically, we're still together. 


To be fair, he snuck the note in a copy of season one of Chappelle's  Show which was a really good show but it's not going to make me love you. I was too second-hand embarrassed for him to even face him again. 

I guess it couldn't have been too bad of a break up between the ladies because they stayed to eat dinner but they both cried the entire time. It was the most awkward 45 minutes of my serving life.

My advice: 

If you do decide to break up with someone at a restaurant don't stay and eat. It's gross watching someone shovel food into his or her mouth while tears are streaming down their face and their nose is running.