She's moving to Churchill for a year and it doesn't look like management is going to hire anyone to replace her but rather extend my hours.
It's a bummer she's leaving because she's totally rad and has taken on a leadership role that affords me the luxury of zero responsibility.
It's good news is that it means more money for me.
I have offered her some life saving tips incase she comes face to face with a Polar Bear.
- Always have Coca Cola on hand. Everyone knows that Polar Bears love Coca Cola.
- Tickle under it's ears. I highly doubt anyone has tried this approach in the midst of a polar bear attack.
- Play "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel from an old school boom box Lloyd Dobler style because music tames even the wildest of beasts.
If I were her I'd be more concerned about the penguins. Sure they seem hilarious with their tap dancing and, like lobsters, they practice monogamy. But when it all boils down to it, they are birds and birds are NOT to be trusted.
In the 10th grade my best friend LB and I skipped Mr. Altomare's Canadian Geography class to go read magazines at Assiniboine Park. Whilst en route we were distracted by a goose sitting in the middle of a parking lot. Worried the goose would be run over we tried to shoo it to safety. Unbeknownst to us she was sitting on some eggs and we had gotten too close. The dad goose zoned in on us like a fighter jet straight out of Top Gun and chased us through a parking lot. Here's a fun fact about geese, specifically the Canadian Goose, these birds can break your bones. Sure I don't have the data to back that up but I feel as if it's true.
Since that day, birds and I have not existed harmoniously together. This is why I think the New Shop gal should be weary of the penguins. No one ever suspects the bird...
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