One of my managers at (insert real name here) is pregnant. I can't believe she even comes to work. I don't think I'd be able to leave my couch if I were pregnant let alone run a restaurant.
Babies freak me out but what freaks me out even more is unborn babies. Every time I see a pregnant lady I assume the baby is gonna bust through her belly Total Recall style, kinda like this...
... minus the hat and the cane and the song. Everybody knows babies can't sing until they are at least three months old.
The only baby I'm interested in is a food and/or beer baby, the latter, of course, also being known as a yeast baby. I have a hard enough time depending on myself and I'm a grown person. I can only imagine the frustration a baby would feel if I were responsible for its well-being. I can't even keep a house plant alive. The ones my mom bought me in February are still sitting on my balcony (I think) and have since froze to death.
The responsibility of a human life is too much for me to handle and I'm too old to have my parents raise one while I pretend I'm just its older sister.
So will you see (insert my real name) with a baby anytime soon? Hell no. But a tip of the hat to those of you who can step up to the plate.
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