Day twenty four: serving to spec.

At (insert real name here) there is a specific way servers are expected to serve their table. It goes a little something like this:


1. Greet the table and take beverage order.  

"Hi my name's (insert real name here). I'll be looking after you this afternoon/evening. Today/tonight we're featuring (insert appetizer here) and (insert two beverages here). Can I bring you something to drink while you look at the menu?"

What I actually say:

"Hi, my name's (insert real name here). I'm looking after you this afternoon. I can't promise this is a good thing but I'll do my best. What can I bring you to drink while you scope out the menu?"

Generally, when the table has been seated the host or hostess has already told them about the feature drink, the soup of the day and the feature dish. I see no point in wasting 45 seconds by repeating verbatim what has already been said. 

Sometimes a table will ask me what the drink special is to which I respond "all of the drinks are special everyday." Special and feature are two completely different things. Special implies there will be some sort of discount while the designation, feature, is simple a trick to push Bahama Mamas and Irish Coffees on unsuspecting diners. 

I then tell my table I don't want to start off our server-diner relationship on a foundation of lies. 

2. Bring out drinks, take appetizer order. 

"Can I start you off with an appetizer? Tonight we're featuring (insert appetizer here)."

What I actually say:

"How are you making out with the menu? Do you want a couple more minutes?"

3. Bring out food. 

4. Check back. 

"How's is everything tasting? Is there anything else I bring out for you right now?"

I try to wait until everyone at the table doesn't have a mouth full of food to go over and ask. As a diner I find it a little annoying when I have a mouth full of food I'm asked a question. 

5. Clear plates, take dessert order. 

"Is there anything else I can bring out for you right now? Coffee? Tea? (Insert dessert name here)?"

What I say:

"What else should I bring out? Dessert? Second dinner?"

6. Bring out dessert and/or drop off the check. 

"When you're ready, I can take cash or credit at the table or debit over by the bar."

Then I hope for the best.