Day twenty five: same-siders.

There is a certain type of diner that give me the heebie-jeebies. The diner in question, or rather diners, is what I like to call "same-siders."

Same-siders are couples who sit on the same side of the table or booth as each other. Let's not get this confused with tables of three people or more. I'm talking two-tops here.

Let me digress here for a moment to explain the "top system" for those of you who have never working in the restaurant industry. It's pretty simple: two-top is a table of two, four-top is a table of four and so forth. A big top is a table of six or more. You follow?

Same-siders don't sit on the same side as each other for practical reasons like being able to see the television when a sporting event is on. They sit on the same side as each other to be close. Call me a cynic but I think that a couple should be able to go an hour without whispering sweet nothings into each others ears.

Almost as bad as same-siders, across the table hand-holders. Across the table hand-holders (ATTHHs) cling on to each other like the death scene from the major motion picture (and multiple hour waste of time) Titanic:

What's worse is when I, or any server for that matter, try(tries) to put a plate down in front of them and the ATTHHs begruginqly release each other as if I'm a jealous ex-girlfriend trying to keep them apart.

I get it across the table hand-holders. You're in love and you can't go more than 45 minutes without a kung fu grip on your lover's paws but can you cut the crap long enough for me to put your chicken salad down and be on my way?

Save your pseudo public display of affection for when I'm not trying to get a job done.