I have a cold.
I don't call in sick for work unless I'm deathly ill. Cold? Go to work. Hungover? Go to work. Pink eye? Go to work and let them tell me to go home.
The thing about pink eye is that it can get you out of anything. Why? Because essentially, it's poop in your eye and that skeeves people out.
If I really wanted to get out of work I'd give myself pink eye. Sure there would be a long standoff between me and my reflection in the mirror while I stand in my bathroom psyching myself up enough to do it but I'm sure after the first few times the shame goes away.
To combat my cold I'm drinking generic Neo Citran.
I don't really know if it does anything other than give me a slight buzz so naturally I've doubled the dose and paired it with some expired Coldfx.
I had a boss once tell me that all I need to flush out a cold was the hot lemon relief of Neo Citran and a couple shots of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum. He was right. Not only is it a delicious holiday beverage but it'll knock the sick out of you.
The only booze I have is some old beer from a barbecue two summers ago called Gulden Draak. I think it's imported. Something tells me it doesn't have the healing powers of hooch so I will just have to settle with the generic hot powdery lemon water.
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