Pens. Pens are precious to a a server. We use them to write down orders (in theory) and give them to tables to sign credit card slips. Those are basically the only two functions pens serve for a server but they are important nonetheless.
I usually find myself pocketing a pen when one is in proximity not unlike that of a lighter. Truth be told I think all of my pens and lighters have had previous owners.
I snagged a great pen the other day. It's no four colour clickie pen but it was a doozy.
Click once and the ink filled tip emerges from it's soft grip chamber. Click twice and that soft grip lights up like a free-gift-with-purchase keychain-flashlight from the beer vendor.
It was amazing. So amazing that I abandoned my "finders keepers" mentality and asked around in hopes of finding it's rightful owner. No one claimed it so thus began our short-lived time together.
I showed everyone my killer pen, sometimes twice until one afternoon another server, we'll call her "Jerk Face" said it was her pen. I told her I was keeping it because the statue of limitations on pens had expired and it was too awesome to give up. Surprisingly Jerk Face let me keep it because normally she'd be a jerk face (hense the nickname) and snatch it back.
It was too good to be true.
Just a few short days later my general manager would ask me for my pen and like a fool I gave her my prized possession. She has since NOT returned said pen and in fact taunts me with it everyday. She says she's keeping it forever and even takes it home each night.
I want my effing pen back.
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