Day one hundred and thirty one: I might develop a stutter

The New Shop is not only a restaurant but a bakery as well. The second floor bakeshop makes all of the bread used for sandwiches and they attempt to make baked goods to sell in the restaurant. I say attempt because I'm sure I could half-ass a box of Betty Crocker cake mix into something more delicious than what they try on a daily basis. To be fair, they do a wicked job at baking bread, probably the best stuff I've ever had in my 26 years and I consider myself to be an authority when it comes to bread, a carbohydrate connoisseur, if you will -- but I'm not in any position to tell them to play to their strengths and give up on cakes. 

On top of this, the bakeshop tries to get us to charge airport prices for goodies $5 for 6 shortbread cookies? Makes sense. What? 


Jerry Seinfeld knows what I'm talking about (roughly 2:18 mark):

The Chef is making my New Shop bestie go work up in the bakeshop. How can he do this to me? She's not going to learn anything she doesn't already know! So, in a ditch effort to keep her on the ground level, in the kitchen, I composed a letter excusing her from bakeshop duties. In high school I used to write my friends and myself notes to get out of class all the time so we wouldn't get phone calls home from the automated machine informing our parent that their "son or daughter had missed one or more classes."


I'm confident that the note I wrote on the back of a receipt will really reach him and he will come to the realization that I'm right and he is, in fact, wrong:

Dear Chef, 

I am excusing Michelle from any bakeshop duties you have planned for her next week. We need her leadership skills in the kitchen, especially since you will be away for two of our busiest days. If you make her go away, I might develop a stutter. 

 I can't be certain but there is a good chance this will end in tears. DO NOT DO THIS TO ME. 

Sincerely, 

(Insert my real name here)

To really drive the point home I sent him a text message while I was en route to (insert real name here):


I trust you got my note excusing Michelle from bakeshop duties. I feel you'll make the right choice and keep her in the kitchen. 


To which he responded:


I have hired Geoffrey Rush to help you with the impending stutter. If he can help a king, think what he can do for you. 

I think I really got through to him.